Random awkwardness

The office was small and standard. It had everything you would expect to see in a doctor's examination room; a small table covered in paper dispensed from a large roll, boxes of sterile gloves, plastic do-dads wrapped up in sealed plastic bags that clearly indicated that the contents were indeed sterile and a poster of puppies placed on the ceiling. The ceiling? Where the hell am I?
I sat in the small visitor chair and bounced my daughter on my knee while I spoke with the nurse who was occasionally handing items to the doctor. The nurse and I carried on pleasant small talk, mostly about my daughter. It was a typical conversation you would have with someone you have literally only known for the last 30 seconds, but it had a touch of over reaching friendliness that extended beyond your typical "passing" conversation. This over-reaching friendliness carried an air of awkwardness. Sort of like a conversation you would expect to overhear between two people trapped in a situation and using their conversation as a buffer to distance themselves from the strange environment that has unfolded before them. It's a lot like watching someone take a nose dive directly at your feet and your only response is to ask the person next to you what they think of the weather.
"So are those your school pictures?" the nurse asked indicating the contact page of proofs hanging out of my bag. "Yes," my daughter said. "What grade are you in?" The nurse continued. "She isn't in a grade," I added. "She is only three." "Oh," the nurse said. "So they do that in day care now?" She asked. "Do what at day care?" the doctor asked. I turned to him to simply say that the day care provides a professional photographer to take pictures of the kids when...
You know, it's at this point I should mention that I have never been in a gynecologist office before. Well, not while they were performing an actual examination. The doctor and I both cracked an awkward smile and maintained an intense level of eye contact as I answered his question. He nodded both in understanding of my answer to his question and acknowledgement of the sitation itself as he continued examining my wife. I believe my wife was simply scanning the poster of puppies taped to the ceiling.
My wife and I found out about a week ago that we are expecting our third child. She had been feeling "sick" for about a week or two and had mentioned this to a nurse as she was arranging to have our other children set-up with flu shots. The nurse had suggested she take a pregnancy test. Both she and I laughed as I ran out to the store that evening to pick up the test. It was going to be negative, we were sure of that. In fact, I came very close to stopping by the liquor store conveniently located next to the drugstore and picking up a bottle of wine to "celebrate" our non-pregnancy. An hour later, I was an expecting dad, again.
Now that the sticker shock has worn off, I am faced with the next 7 months filled with paranoia, fear, excitement and finally relief that everything came out ok. I'm sure that I will drive my wife crazy, more so than normal, with all of the "research" I will do on what she can or can not eat, ensuring that her prenatal vitamins are consumed each and every day (Folic Acid and DHA are important damnit!) and countless other items that I, as a responsible and caring partner, will help my wife keep in the absolute front of her mind. I told you, it's gonna be a long 7 months for my wife.
As we left the doctor's office this evening, I thumbed through the print outs of the ultrasounds that we were provided. I spoke with my wife about our future, I thought about both the short term (the fear and the paranoia) and the long term (the excitement and the relief). I also thought of the awkwardness I shared with my wife's doctor and wondered how many times he has had to look into the eyes of the man whose wife he is "medically exploring". Hopefully I wasn't his first.
Tonight, when I lie down for bed, I will look at the ceiling. It's blank, it's an open canvas. The perfect spot for a poster that could draw my attention away from weighty distractions. Perhaps a poster of a cat hanging from a clothes line with the tag line "Hang in there!"
Until next time, enjoy the pure random.